Hi H,
I have to apologise. I've been unacceptably tardy with my emails. Please know it's not from not thinking of you. I'm so excited that we might be able to see each other in person soon! I can't believe we're so close!! It's been ages since I've seen you!!
Thanks for the photo! I've attached a photo of me backstage getting ready for a shoot.
I need to ask some advice about some things that have been happening in the bedroom department. We've now started the 'intimate' side of our relationship, and things aren't going as smoothly as I fantasised about.
After the most amazing 3 weeks courtship, I really felt I'd found my soul mate. We connected on so many levels; spiritually, intellectually and finally I thought we were ready to connect physically.
I took Maureen back to my hotel after a particularly sweaty shoot. I'd been posing with snakes for a jewellery shoot all day, and for some reason, whether it was the scales slithering over my erogenous zones, or just the anticipation of making sweet love to my Maureen that had me so excited.
Once back at the hotel, Maureen started to do a sexy little strip for me. I sat her up on the dressing table and turned the radio on. Sadly the only station we could get was playing 'Living on a Prayer' by Bon Jovi. Not the sweetest and most touching of tunes to forever be known as 'our song'.
The moment she lifted up her dress I knew something was wrong. She loves tatoos, and the most unusual tatoo I've ever seen was revealed once her dress made it up to her breasts. I was able to take a quick photo while the dress was covering her face. I was so shocked I needed to take a photo for evidence. (attached). She has a photo of a cat from behind. The cat is looking cheekily back at the viewer, but the tatoo is positioned so the cat's anus is in the position of her belly button, taking on an almost 3D effect.
Once we started to 'get down to business' I encountered a problem I've never experienced before. My 'man parts' couldn't stand to attention! I blame thecat's bum dancing around in front of me, and that cheeky feline gazing back at me. It felt like I was on the verge of beastiality, it just felt so wrong!
I covered the problem by pulling out my most trusted of tools; my 'rabbit' vibrator. I asked her to turn around while I made sure she at least could enjoy the moment, and hopefully have a 'happy ending'. From this position I couldn't see her horrendous belly buton / cat bum tatoo, so thought it would heighten my enjoyment too!
I don't know whether it was her obviouse excitement, the humidity of the Thai evening, or the fact I'd left it charging for too long between uses, but as soon as the buzzing, shiny steel penis entered her she yelled out a giant SHRIEK not unlike the sound the cat tatooed on her belly might have made if I'd shoved the sex toy up it's bum!
I'd electrocuted her with my vibrator!! She shot across the room with an amazing force! Both of us ended up on the floor on opposite sides of the room, with large holes punched in the wall where our bodies had impacted in the plaster board!
When I recovered from the shock, I rushed over to Maureen, only to find the smell of burning pubic hair and smoke slowly rising from between her legs. Luckily she was concious, but very tender. I spent the next 4 hours soothing her vagina with various ointments and potions from the village. I can report, she's ok, but I really don't think she'll walk with her legs together for a long time. She now looks like a tiny midget John Wayne. With her cropped hair, and walk like she's just ridden a giant horse across the great plains.
I really don't know if our relationship can recover from such a shocking (pardon the pun) event!!
Please help H!!
In the meantime, let me know when you arrive! I'm dieing to give you a big bear hug!!
Your loving,
Sunday! xxx
