Email 2 - Hector responds to Sunday and reveals some truths

My dearest dirty Sanchez,

I was so excited to read your email. I have a sense of doom every time i check my phone as the only thing i receive is messages of disgust and horror from the friends of the previous owner of the phone who all received those candid pics of what i now call the `pelvic pringle pics`.
I had completely forgotten about the soft drink/chocolate mousse incident..its worth pointing out it wasn't Passiona it was actually creamy soda. A small but important detail. May i also remind you it wasn't me that `fanny farted` in class that blew a bubble so big that for a second the class thought that Glynda the good witch from Wizard of Oz was arriving. Lets say we are even.

Anyway,anyway i am so sorry to hear that you will never have the experience of passing a child through your vagine/penis/scrotum/ovary or whatever else you have down there. In the words of a wise old prophet Doris Day `Kay Saraar Saraar` which is an aboriginal expression meaning `stupid bloody keffer gin who cant have spawn` Its not a nice expression but in your case appropriate. But i am sure there are alot of options for you. Why don't you do what Madonna did and go adopt a world vision child from the jungles of Didjabringyagrogalong? Or you could always do what that girl in the U.S did, where she befriended a pregnant lady whilst also pretending she was pregnant herself and then when she`s not looking you could cut the baby out of her stomach and claim it as your own or you could dress up as a dingo and steal a baby. That worked for the last person who tried it. Both extreme examples i must admit.

Anyway, anyway. Some more news in relation to my foreskin.I was going through my box of stuff and i found some silly putty i had as a child. The only thing is..do you remember how you used to press it on newspaper and the print would come off onto the putty? Well lets just say it was still on there and now my knob has the headline `man stuck in fridge eats own foot` on it. Lets just say i aborted that idea fairly quickly now i am just looking for someone to polish it clean. I will endeavour to find something that will give my trouser snake the warm hooded sleeping bag it deserves.

So tell me `the next top model` seems to be heating up. You must keep me posted of all the goss. Although i am concerned if they do a swim suit show, what may i ask do you do with your she cock? I didn't realise that holding your breath underwater for 10 minutes was now a deciding factor. I have everything crossed for you.

The homeless mission i am staying at says i must now move on, so i have decided to head towards Yosemite National Park and go and scale Mount Rushmore (a childhood dream) although i was shocked to find out that Mt Rushmore was wasn't caused by erosion. I always thought the odds were low of natures elements actually forming the presidents heads into the stone in the country that they ruled was pretty dam fluky, but hey who am i to argue.

Anyway my little dirty sanchez, i love you more that Cum shots!

Yours in friendship....Hector Horatio Hobgoblinson