Hector!! I'm so sorry about the delay in contacting you!! You must have been sick with worry about what happened to me! When I tell you what happened, you'll understand completely!!
In my last letter I hinted that I thought my love life was about to change.... Well... I was right! I met a woman who I think could be the love of my life. Her name is Maureen. She has long flowing golden hair, big, beautiful brown eyes, bee-stung lips like Angelina Jolie, long sultry eyelashes and pert, rounded breasts...... oh, and she's 1.5ft tall. Yes, Maureen is what some would refer to as 'vertically challenged', or in scientific circles, referred to as a 'Dwarf'. I didn't care that she only came up to my knee cap, I fell in love; hook, line and sinker.
I first met Maureen on the set of 'Top Model'. We were shooting a close up beauty photo with multi-million dollar jewellery and live props. Cody, the security guard from Wallace Bishop HQ had brought in cases of real Cubic Zirconia necklaces and earrings for the shoot. He'd been coming onto me all afternoon, and I'd had enough of his man-handling both me and my long, dangly... earrings.
It was just as I was preparing to step onto the set when Tyra stepped out from behind the curtain to add some spice to this challenge. She had arranged for live snakes to test our professionalism in front of the camera in stressful situations. The idea was to lie down with the snakes around our heads like a crazy, modern day 'Medusa'.
The camera's were rolling as I lay down. Tears were welling up in my eyes, as you know I'm terrified of snakes; ever since the horrific accident when we were children and a python slithered into my sleeping bag when we were on school camp. I'll never forget that feeling of waking up, feeling between my legs and thinking my man-parts were multiplying like a Gremlin splashed with water. I've still never been able to replicate the sound that escaped from my lips that frightful, frosty morning.
I was shaking like a leaf as I lay on the floor closing my eyes and clenching my teeth, waiting for the feel of the first snake I heard a voice. A shrill more than anything, asking me to 'wake the fuck up, I don't want you dribbling on my Anaconda'. This high pitched squeak/squeal came from the mouth of an angel. well, mini-angel, or cupid. With me lie-ing down and her leaning over me like that, It didn't matter how tall she was. In my eyes, she was a giant. She made me feel so safe, and at ease in the shoot, I produced my most impressive photos yet. One look into those big brown eyes, and I knew everything was going to be alright.
We've been inseparable since. I've spent the last few weeks under loves sweet spell. We go on long moonlit walks on the beach together. To be fair, she can't walk beside me like normal sized couples. God forbid if a wave came in!! It would either drown her then and there, or pick her up and take her out to sea!! She perches on my shoulder, or in the pocket of my beach bag, gently nestled under my arm.
H, I think she may be 'the one'. I'll keep you updated, but I really feel drunk with love!!
Take care H, I promise I'll write more frequently now.
Your loving Sunday. xxxxx
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